Repeated Moments in Beloved

Morrison does a lot of referring to past events in her book. Once an important event occurs, she refers to it several times. Of the scenes which she does this for are:

• when Paul D tells Sethe how many feet she has
• when Paul D holds the weight of Sethe's breasts
• the last time Paul D saw Halle
• the shadows holding hands 

At the end of part one of Beloved, Sethe and Paul D get into a fight. Morrison refers to the fight several times in the next few following chapters. She consistently says Paul D 'reminded' Sethe how many feet she had, as if Sethe forgot that she is not an animal, but a human. The importance of this quote is that Paul D points out the wild, uncivilized manner in which Sethe acted. The condescending comment affects Sethe because she had not expected Paul D to be turned away.

"While Stamp Paid was making up his mind to visit 124 for Baby Suggs' sake, Sethe was trying to take her advice: to lay it all down, sword and shield. Not just to acknowledge the advice Baby Suggs gave her, but actually to take it. Four days after Paul D reminded her of how many feet she had, Sethe rummaged among the shoes of strangers to find the ice skates she was sure were there. Digging in the heap she despised herself for having been so trusting, so quick to surrender at the stove while Paul D kissed her back" (pages 103-104).

The above passage is also another reference to the first kitchen scene with Sethe and Paul D. Sethe has a few doubts about Paul D after he holds her breasts in the kitchen. She thinks:

"But maybe a man was nothing but a man, which is what Baby Suggs always said. They encouraged you to put some of your weight in their hands and as soon as you felt how light and lovely that was, they studied your scars and tribulations, after which they did what he he had done: ran her children out and tore up the house" (page 16).

 Sethe was taken advantage of and had her breast milk stolen, which may be why Paul D having the responsibility for  her breasts is such an important scene. When Paul D first holds her, Sethe is relieved of the metaphoric weight of her past. Right after she talks about what was done to her that final night at Sweet Home, her worries are temporarily relieved. However, after Paul D and Sethe have relations, they spend some time thinking about each other. Paul D studies her back, no longer seeing the beauty in her chokecherry tree. Sethe feels as if Paul D holding her weight was meaningless, because once she allowed him the responsibility, he began to exercise too much control.

While Paul D and Sethe are in the privacy of her bedroom, they discuss a night that was traumatic for them both. While Sethe's milk was being stolen by a nephew of the school teacher, Halle was there to witness it all. Later, Paul D saw him at the butter churn, with butter all over his face.

"There is also my husband squatting by the churn smearing the butter as well as its clabber all over his face because the milk they took is on his mind. And as far as he is concerned, the world may as well know it. And if he was that broken then, then he is also and certainly dead now" (page 83).

At the butter churn is the last place anyone ever saw Halle. Witnessing what happened to Sethe broke him; it drove him crazy. Whenever Sethe recalls Halle, she has the image in her head of him at the churn. This is heartbreaking for her, because ever since she left Sweet Home, she has maintained hope that Halle would come find her. With Paul D revealing the final time he saw Halle, Sethe knows there is no chance that he has survived.

On the way to the carnival, Sethe takes note of the shadows that belong to her, Denver, and Paul D. They are holding hands, which she takes to mean that there really is a life for her and Paul D. She smiles at the thought that the three of them will be happy together. After Paul D's departure, Sethe has a different interpretation of the shadows.

"Obviously the hand-holding shadows she had seen on the road were not Paul D, Denver and herself, but "us three." The three holding on to each other skating the night before; the three sipping flavored milk. And since that was so--if her daughter could come back home from the timeless place--certainly her sons could, and would, come back from wherever they had gone to" (page 214).

 While Denver, Beloved, and Sethe go ice skating, Sethe reevaluates the situation with the shadows. She believes that the three shadows did not include Paul D, but included Beloved, which is a sign that her family may be restored. Throughout the whole novel, Sethe's family is broken apart. Her children are all in different places, with the exception being Denver. The shadows are important because to Sethe it means that her children will find their way back and her family may once again be whole.